Mass hypnosis

<Onii-chan> Imouto-chan, help! All the girls at school are suddenly acting strange. They’re all trying to seduce me!

<Imouto-chan> Don’t worry, onii-chan, I’ll protect you. Here, let’s hide under my bed covers.

<Onii-chan> Good idea.


<Imouto-chan> This is a good place to sit.

<Onii-chan> Imouto-chan, why are you sitting on my face?

<Imouto-chan> Hehehe, it feels even better when it talks.

<Onii-chan> Get off!

<Imouto-chan> I am getting off.

The doki-doki

<Imouto-chan> Put your onii-chan in, put your onii-chan out,
Put your onii-chan in, and his thing begins to spout.
Your heart goes doki-doki and you turn yourself around.
That’s what it’s all about!

True identity

<Imouto-chan> Ha! You thought I was your little sister, but this is merely a disguise. Here’s my TRUE identity! *zip*

<Onii-chan> …You’re just naked now.

<Imouto-chan> BWAHAHA!

Childhood friends

<Onii-chan> Hey, Bishoujo-san?

<Bishoujo-san> Yes, MC-kun?

<Onii-chan> We’ve always been friends, right?

<Bishoujo-san> Right.

<Onii-chan> …We’ve always been… childhood friends, right?

<Bishoujo-san> Right. Why?

<Onii-chan> Well, I’ve been watching a lot of anime lately, and… I just have to ask… Do you want to marry me?

<Bishoujo-san> H-How did you know?!

<Onii-chan> Trade secret, I guess.

<Bishoujo-san> Yes! Yes, I want to marry you!

<Onii-chan> Ah, sorry. I gotta turn you down.

<Bishoujo-san> …Huh?

<Onii-chan> You’re my childhood friend AND clearly the best girl I know. Trust me, it wouldn’t work out.

Solve for y

<Imouto-chan> Onii-chan, can you help me with my homework?

<Onii-chan> Sure.

<Imouto-chan> I don’t get this problem.

<Onii-chan> This one? “y2 + 1 = 4x + t. Solve for y in terms of x, where t is the number of seconds your onii-chan can hold his breath while your tongue is….” Um…

<Imouto-chan> It says “in his mouth.”

<Onii-chan> Yeah, I got that.

<Imouto-chan> I feel like the question is missing important information. Is “t” something I have to look up, or…

<Onii-chan> Imouto-chan?

<Imouto-chan> Yes, onii-chan?

<Onii-chan> Why is this the only black-and-white page in your textbook?

<Imouto-chan> Because mom said not to use the color print– er, I mean… N-No reason.

<Onii-chan> Interesting. Maybe there’s a mistake. I’ll just call your teacher to confirm the questions…

<Imouto-chan> Wait! Noo!!

Lost panties

<Bishoujo-san> MC-kun, have you seen my panties anywhere?

<Onii-chan> Have you checked my face?

<Bishoujo-san> That was my first thought, but they aren’t there.

<Onii-chan> Maybe I’m holding them, thinking they’re a handkerchief?

<Bishoujo-san> Hm… nope, not there either. *sigh* Where could they be?

<Onii-chan> I have an idea. Lift your skirt.

<Bishoujo-san> Okay.

<Onii-chan> Aha, you’re wearing them.

<Bishoujo-san> Oh! Haha, now I feel silly. Thanks for the help, MC-kun!

<Onii-chan> No problem.

Hide and seek

<Hana-chan> 3.. 2.. 1. Ready or not, here I come! ..Huh? Onii-chan, you can’t just hide under my skirt; it’s too easy to find you there.

<Youta-kun> But I thought it was the perfect place to hide.

Girls fighting

<Imouto-chan> Hey onii-chan, I heard some boys at school say that boys get aroused when they see girls fighting. Is that true?

<Onii-chan> Don’t fight.

<Imouto-chan> But is it true?

<Onii-chan> I’d rather not answer that.

<Imouto-chan> Answer it or I’ll beat you to a pulp!


<Imouto-chan> Did that turn you on?

Requited love

<Hana-chan> Onii-chan, guess what! I just told a boy at school that I like him, and he said he likes me, too!

<Youta-kun> Aw, I’m sorry.

<Hana-chan> Sorry? Why?

<Youta-kun> You’re in elementary school, right?

<Hana-chan> Yeah.

<Youta-kun> In elementary school, requited love means only one thing: one of you is about to move away.

<Hana-chan> WHAT?

<Youta-kun> Yep. Romance only works out from high school onward. Before that, it’s all just a bittersweet backstory. You’re destined to be separated.

<Hana-chan> This is terrible! What do I do?

<Youta-kun> If you want to stay together, you’ll have to tell him you made a mistake and reject him.

<Hana-chan> Reject him? But.. that’s so sad…

<Youta-kun> Then how about crying in onii-chan’s arms? Onii-chan loves you and will never leave you.


<Youta-kun> …Trust me, it’s the only way.